What is my WHY?

I am not a blogger, writer or anything along those lines. I am simply a girl sharing her story. You'll find most of my posts are more like journal entries rather than anything else. For those of you who want to follow me in this journey through this new chapter of my life you are welcome to. I am completely transparent with myself in what makes me happy, what pushes me to do better, the complete and utter humility of failure and what I need to purge from my life. Hopefully, in sharing my story it will inspire others to reach for your goals.

The purpose of my conversion from conventional life to a van life and the ultimate goal is to just slow down!!! Life is too damn short to be pulled in 20 different directions at any given moment. Everyone wants and expects you to come through for them but who is gonna be there for you when you need help. Aside from the kids one person came through for me when I called out for some assistance, of all the people I've helped and have lend my hand to who was the one that helped me??

It is a serious reality check when you are constantly helping people in some form or another but then completely disappear when it a favor is asked of them. Look, I really don't mind helping people, in fact I really enjoy it but when its the same damn people constantly bugging you to help them but then ghost you... well I am not okay with that. Adding to the fact that mutual relationships are affected by the animosity created when you tell these people no. I have sent boundaries and reneged on them out of fear of losing others involved in this vicious circle of selfishness.

But I am getting away from my main point.... My future plan is to travel for a few years make money in a remote position and eventually purchase a plot of land in the middle of nowhere where I can build myself an off grid homestead. I want this place to be surrounded by trees and a stream or two, in or close to the mountains (but not too high up in the mountains) where I can have a bit of livestock and grow my own fruits and vegetables. I want this place to be 100% off grid. Eventually, I would very much love to learn how to hunt and process my own meat.

If you would have asked me 10 years ago what my ideal way of living was I can tell you this definitely was not it! What changed? How did I go from city living to remote homestead in rural location? Honestly, I am not really sure! I have always been mostly an introvert and much rather be alone than surrounded by people. I do better with one on one conversations than a group setting. I like being "behind the scenes" when working on projects and events.

Perhaps its that I am tired of being everyone's door mat. Perhaps its because I am most happy in secluded locations. Lots of questions have come to mind many times over. Won't I be lonely? If I become injured or die who is going to know? What if I am alone for months at a time will I go completely insane? All of these are very real and very valid questions I have for myself. But this does not deter me from working toward this lifestyle because I know at the end of the day this is what I want. At least for now...

This is just a dream, am I able to make this dream a reality? It's not an unattainable dream by any means. Slowly down, enjoying each day, stopping to smell the flowers once in a while instead of being stuck in an office from sun up to sun down, stress of dealing with unimportant non sense, being micromanaged on every little thing I do.