Lets talk mental health.

Disclosure: I am not a health care professional nor has this been reviewed by a health care professional. This is simply to share my own personal experiences, thoughts and feelings.

As a mother, ex-wife, main provider, uber driver, motivational speaker, chef, housekeeper, personal shopper, caretaker, cleaning crew of one, and overall boss of a household it takes a major toll on a person physically, mentally and emotionally. Life is not easy in today's world with the rise of rents, gas, groceries, etc. Yet the income base remains the same. To add insult to injury throw in a divorce into the mix, losing that second income... some major life changes need to be made just for survival.

I have extreme anxiety and would go completely MIA from friends and family for months at a time. On top of that I'm an introvert so this made it easy and gave me an "excuse" to not have to see anyone. I was extremely depressed and never wanted to do anything with anybody. I had to put myself onto a schedule and make a commitment just to see or talk to people. The stress of the divorce, the bills piling up and the kids hating me both for various reasons really took a toll on me. Feeling exhausted for trying so hard and absolutely useless for not trying hard enough was diminishing my mental health on a daily basis. What I'm trying to say is, this is life! You have to find ways to manage it and take care of yourself. For me this was done through hiking, meditation, yoga, therapy, tapping and well... drinking. Although most of those activities are all helpful and positive none of it worked long term. I was happy while doing the activity or consciously thinking about being happy. But at night, when I was alone in bed the depression cycle would start all over again. Just trying to function became a chore. I lived this way for many years, awake all night long with insomnia caused by all the fears, doubt, and pain in my life.

Since moving into the van the financial burdens have not yet ceased completely but they have lessened. The kids are now grown and I am able to help them financially and have the independence they need. Time healed the wounds of the divorce and I now sleep like a log all night long. I no longer have stress knots lingering in my shoulder blades. I no longer have such high levels of anxiety. I don't know if it's the fact that no matter what I will always have a place to live or if it's the sense of freedom of knowing home is where I decide to park. It could even be that life in a van is so much simpler or that perhaps this is what I've wanted all along.